There’s always someone listening. It doesn’t matter how quiet you are, how soft the whisper is, or how insignificant the thought seems. You can be completely silent and not speak a word, but in your mind, there’s a race of thoughts constantly flooding your mind. Your brain is always listening. Every thought is a fact to your mind. Our mind tries to find evidence of what we say and can’t differentiate between reality and fantasy. When you say, “I’m too shy,” your brain will support you in that and encourage you to behave in a shy way. Or when you say, “I shouldn’t be doing this,” our mind hears “do this” as you are seeing what you’re trying to avoid, making it seem like an inevitable loss.

Here are 8 most used phrases I hear often. Try them on and see how it feels when you change how you talk and think.  Do you feel more empowered? In control of your actions and decisions? Which one do you catch yourself using often?

1. “I Can’t”

Change to: “I Can”

When you tell yourself, “I can’t do it,” you immediately shut down any possibility of success. This phrase creates a mental block that stops you from even trying to overcome the challenge. By changing it to “I can do it,” you open the door to possibility and empowerment. This shift in language encourages your brain to find ways to achieve your goals rather than reasons you can’t. For instance, instead of saying, “I can’t run a mile,” say, “I can train to run a mile.”

However, pay attention to your reframe. You want to change it to something your mind won’t fight you on. So if you said “I can run a mile”, your mind might challenge you on that, because you probably can’t…Right Now. Break it down to something more believable. You’ll find less resistance and you’ll be more motivated to take action and prove your new statement true.

2. “I’m Stuck”

Change to: “I Choose Not (to Take Action)” I haven’t decided yet to…” (you haven’t taken action because you haven’t decided)

Saying “I’m stuck” gives away your power and makes you a victim of circumstances. It implies that you have no control over your situation and in a way gives you “permission” to not do anything. Instead, acknowledge your choice by saying, “I choose not to take action.” This shift reminds you that inaction is a decision you make, which means you can also choose to act.

3. “I Have to…”

Change to: “I Get to…”

For example, instead of saying, “I’m stuck in this job,” say, “I choose not (to take action) to find a new job.” This empowers you to take control and start exploring new opportunities.

The phrase “I have to” creates a sense of obligation and burden. It can make even enjoyable activities feel like chores. By changing it to “I get to,” you reframe the task as an opportunity rather than a requirement. This subtle change can significantly impact your motivation and attitude.

For instance, instead of saying, “I have to work out,” say, “I get to work out.” This simple shift can make you feel grateful for the opportunity to improve your health.

4. “I Can’t/Shouldn’t…”

Change to: “I Don’t…”

When you say, “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t,” you create a sense of deprivation and restriction. This often leads to a rebellious desire to do exactly what you’re trying to avoid. By stating “I don’t,” you set a firm boundary that defines your identity and habits.

For example, instead of saying, “I shouldn’t watch Netflix before bed.” say, “I don’t watch Netflix before bed.” This phrasing reinforces your commitment and makes it easier to stick to your decision.

5. “I’m Not Good Enough”

Change to: “I Am Improving Every Day”/ “I’m Enough”

Saying “I’m not good enough” undermines your self-esteem and confidence. It suggests that your worth is fixed and unchangeable. Instead, say, “I am improving every day” or my other favorite one “I’m Enough.” This positive affirmation acknowledges your growth and potential.

For instance, instead of saying, “I’m not good at public speaking,” say, “I am improving my public speaking skills every day.” This encourages a growth mindset and helps you focus on progress rather than perfection.

6. “I Always Mess Up”

Change to: “I Learn from My Mistakes”

Saying “I always mess up” sets a pattern of expecting failure and focuses on past mistakes. It reinforces a negative self-image and can make you feel trapped in a cycle of error. Instead, change it to “I learn from my mistakes.” This reframing highlights the positive aspect of mistakes: learning and growth.

For example, instead of saying, “I always mess up presentations,” say, “I learn from my mistakes in presentations.” This shift helps you view mistakes as opportunities to improve, which can boost your confidence and resilience.

7. “It’s Too Hard”

Change to: “This Is a Challenge (I Can Overcome)”

Saying “It’s too hard” creates a mental block that can prevent you from even trying to tackle a task. It implies that the difficulty is insurmountable. By changing it to “This is a challenge I can overcome,” you reframe the task as a manageable obstacle.

For instance, instead of saying, “Learning a new language is too hard,” say, “Learning a new language is a challenge (I can overcome).” This encourages a proactive mindset and motivates you to take action, breaking the task into achievable steps.

8. “I’ll Never Be Able to Do That”

Change to: “I Haven’t Done That Yet”

Saying “I’ll never be able to do that” is a definitive statement that closes off possibilities. It implies a fixed mindset and limits your potential. Instead, say “I haven’t done that yet.” This introduces the concept of possibility and future growth. For example, instead of saying, “I’ll never be able to run a marathon,” say, “I haven’t run a marathon yet.” This shift encourages you to see your abilities as evolving and motivates you to work towards your goals.

Conclusion:

Our self-talk profoundly impacts our beliefs and behaviors. By making conscious changes to our internal dialogue, we can transform our mindset and actions. The phrases we use shape our reality, so choose words that empower and uplift you. Start today by replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Notice how that adjustment makes you feel and behave and watch how your life changes for the better. Remember, your brain is always listening. Make sure it hears the right messages